“Something to chew on over your Friday morning coffee”
Recently I sat down with a mentee in Sydney to have our periodic “learning conversation”. This is a reflective exercise that we both enjoy and gain value from. This young guy is what I would call a ‘Mover & Shaker’. He’s studying both law and economics. He is bright, ambitious, extremely curious and questions everything.
Opportunities to learn and gain experience abound for ‘Movers & Shakers’ and he lives a frantic 7am – 9pm work/study/events day, leaving little time for self let alone nurturing relationships.
“At 21 that’s probably doable…. but what are the risks and costs?’ I asked.
“You know Geoff, I have discovered that my mates and I all went through our first quarter-of-life existential crisis earlier this year”, he quipped. “Our anxiety about future direction, career choices, job opportunities, and social identity played out dramatically. Each of my five mates responded differently, leaving us all comparing and contrasting – ratcheting the anxiety even further.”
“An overlaying dimension was the high level of adrenaline I was running on, elevating my blood pressure and further increasing my anxiety. What got me through Geoff was the story you once told me about Juggling Balls: rubber ones and crystal ones. I’ve got a juggling picture up on my study wall to remind me.”
I scratched my head and tried to remember the juggling story I once told him…
The story goes like this: Some people are three ball jugglers. Others can handle four. A few five. But “like the straw that broke the camels back”, adding just one extra ball can result in them all crashing down (and spinning the juggler to the floor).
Some of these balls are made of rubber and bounce back. These are typically the work related things. But some are more precious and made of crystal. These are the relationship balls (partner, children, treasured friends, and health). Once damaged, the crystal balls can never be repaired to their previous standard. The trick is to let go of some of the rubber balls (the B and C grade ones). Focus on crystal balls and a few A grade rubber balls. This will keep your life/work balance optimal, so that you can be a calm, measured, healthy leader. And a great mum/dad and trusted friend.
This reflective learning discussion with my mentee left me pondering on the following questions:
- How many young people out there are going through the ‘quarter life crises’ (as he put it), yet presenting to their friends and families as ‘chipper’?
- How many leaders are juggling too many balls and, when over loaded, are at risk of diminishing the relationships with those they treasure?
- How can we in our roles of mum/dad, boss, and CEO role model being calm, balanced, and measured?
You may find these Socratic questions worth pondering on over your Friday morning coffee and perhaps during the weekend.
Food for thought…
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.“
HENRY FORD
This Thought Piece was written by Geoff Lorigan as a reflective note aimed at encouraging leaders to consider the impact of life balance on themselves and all those that they are associated with. Leaders are powerful role models and their attitudes and behaviours may influence others more than they may realise..
Readers are invited to share their views, examples and experiences in the comments section below.
Thank you Geoff. I have posted this to my own personal Facebook page so that your wise musings can be read by more young people. These young people I see working incredibly hard in order to do well in a career, and to buy the biggest brightest and best. Something has to give and it is often their health, and relationships with their nearest and dearest, that suffer.
Thank you for the musings.